On February 18, 2014, I became a Mama. Big Bid-Nass. This shit is NO JOKE. I’m not sure who Rajneesh is, and I normally hate Memes or whatever the frig these supposed-to-be inspirational pics with words on top are called, but I saw this on Pinterest and it really SPOKE TO ME.
So, out the gate I’d like to say that February 18 was “THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE,” but I’m not sure that that’s really true. And in the interest of keepin it real, I’m telling the truth. Many women claim that the day their first kid was born was indeed the BEST DAY EVER (and maybe it was!), whereas I prefer to look at it more as the jump off of the very long BEST CHAPTER OF MY LIFE. My kid’s born day was an exhilarating, eventful, and exhausting day, that’s for sure, but “BEST”? Nah. I had a few days before, and a few days since, that are in the running for that title. Plus, 15 completely horrendous hours of labor that culminated in an emergency c-section do not, in my book, qualify as the best of ANYTHING. My son, Caswell Richard (we call him “Caz” and I’ll probably refer to him here as CC), has been a real, live human for just over four weeks now. He is absolutely my greatest creation and the center of my universe, and I believe that motherhood will prove to be the greatest experience I have ever had. But there are many elements including my relationship with my husband (who I married about a year-and-a-half ago), my incredibly close family ties, and my strong friendships, that have been preparing me for and shaping this experience since before I even knew I was pregnant. And all of those elements are just so good, they truly fill my heart with freakin joy. They are the BEST parts of my life. And pizza – pizza is one of the best parts of my life! Yummo.
This is your invitation to join me on my journey through new motherhood. Why should you listen to what I have to say? Well, you certainly don’t have to. I am no expert on anything, I have no answers, and I probably don’t even have any new or innovative methods for traversing the already much-traveled path of being a mommy (not to mention, the already densely trafficked highway of blogging about being a mommy). All I can offer are my newly minted mother’s instincts (supported by expertise found in a shit load of books and garnered from the proverbial village of family and friends who are generous enough to offer advice and support when it’s needed) wrapped up in words spun to convey comedy, tragedy, and humility. But if you’re not my family member, my friend, or a current or former friend/acquaintance/co-worker/lover/hater who wants to perv on my life in this internet-centric world where it’s just so damn easy to do, and you want me to convince you why you should read this blog, then I will.
REASONS TO READ MY BLOG
1. As a brand new mama, keeping my little bundle of joy (and poop and puke and snot and god knows what else I have yet to discover) alive and getting him acclimated to the world outside my uterus is my #1 priority. But I don’t think that that means that I and my health, my marriage, my home, my family, my social life, and goddamnit my once-hot-bod(!!!) SHOULDN’T be a priority. If any or all of these cornerstones of a full and happy life are on your VIP list, then we have something in common. And who doesn’t like to know that they aren’t weird or crazy for feeling the way that they do?
2. As the title implies, I am a real person. I also have real expectations of myself. If I could afford a personal chef, a nanny, a maid, an assistant, and a trainer for 6 hours a day, life would be a breeze and I’d be posting 4-weeks post partum naked Instagram pics of myself, preparing four-star feasts from lean, grass-fed proteins and Whole Foods produce, and pitching my reality series to E! But alas, like billions of women before me, I will attempt to juggle breastfeeding, diaper changing, cuddling, tummy time, laundry, feeding myself and my husband, losing my baby weight, cleaning my house, cleaning my bod, brushing my teeth, watching my fave TV shows, hanging with my friends, and hopefully sleeping. Godspeed to me (and to all the rest of you)!
3. I will be posting funny anecdotes and tear-jerking epiphanies, as well as recipes and workouts, and probably just some random soliloquies. At the very least, I seek to entertain.
4. If nothing I’ve said so far qualifies my blog to convert some of your precious internet time (read: 18 hours a day) away from Facebook, Buzzfeed (WHAT CELEBRITY MOM YOU MOST LIKE? TAKE THE QUIZ!), and the Huffington Post (ok, if you think you’re above all that, we can call it LinkedIn, Obama’s website, and CNN.com), I hope for nothing more than to share my experiences for the sake of creating some camaraderie among other post-partum 30somethings who are just trying to keep their shit together too. I believe – I KNOW – that there is an Eden in which I can be a good mother and enjoy all the other fabulous experiences that this beautiful world has to offer, and I’m vowing to find it. If anyone out there is seeking the same holy grail, then why not seek it together?!!! (That’s another thing that kills me – Mommy Competition. To be discussed later!)