We all know that most women have struggled with food, weight, and image issues at some point in their lives. And let’s be honest – a lot of them fight these battles for pretty much their WHOLE damn lives. My personal relationship with said issues is one that’s had its cliché ups and downs. I have never been a skinny chick, that’s for sure. I’ve always been an average weight, from infancy to young adult, and I have always loved to eat. In college, the dangerous combo of lots of dining out/on the run, lots of booze, and very little (if any) exercise made for a pretty hefty Ra. At 24 I started going to the gym regularly, cut carbs, and swore off soda and fried food, and by the following year I had reached my personal low adult weight of 125. Not gonna lie, I was pretty damn hot. But it was extremely difficult to maintain my bod at such few lbs., even though I’m just about 5-feet-4-inches tall (one of the things that kills me about being a woman – this crazy BMI-based notion that all of us should weigh a certain amount based on our height – but I’ll get to that later).
Anyway, by age 26-27 I had found bodily peace at what I like to refer to as my Triple H (Healthy, Happy, & Hot!) weight range, which fluctuates between 132-137 lbs. It’s not hard to maintain with regular exercise, as long as I don’t eat giant blocks of cheddar cheese or entire trays of lasagna in a single sitting (but Lord, how I want to!). I was able to keep my HHH figure through the honeymoon stage of the happiest, most snuggly and comfortable relationship I’ve ever been in (a time period during which many women notoriously gain weight), through grad school (I was shoving cheese doodles and Ruffles with onion dip down my throat while writing papers at 2 AM and still kept my shit on lock), and through my first year of marriage (to my comfy relationship dude). In fact, I weighed 132 on my wedding day on June 9, 2012, without prior dieting. So… First comes love, then comes marriage, and you know what kinda crazy shit comes after that!
Hubby and I being Hot on our Honeymoon
On June 18, 2013, I found out that I was preggo with Mr. Caz. And I hate to say it, but one of my first thoughts was: “I’m gonna get SO HUGE!” I got on the scale. I was already a teensyyyyy bit over my HHH weight, and I was about 4 weeks along. DOOMED.
Over the subsequent 9 months, I packed on 49 pounds keeping my little man safe, warm, and thoroughly nourished. Trust and believe, pre-preggo me was always someone who said, “Oh, I’ll be fine gaining weight while I’m pregnant! It’s natural and beautiful and I will be soooo excited that I’m going to be a mommy that I won’t even care! I’ll still eat healthy, I’ll just eat more.” WRONG. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, on every level possible. I weighed myself EVERY SINGLE MORNING of my pregnancy. And with every pound gained, I would become a little more dejected and cried a few more tears. And believe me, I tried! I remained very active throughout my pregnancy (literally, I went to the gym until I was 38 weeks!) by working with my rockstar trainer Jen (who you will hear much more about soon!), going to pre-natal yoga classes, and walking in the park regularly. But my body did what it had to do, and now, here I am. I lost about half the weight in the first month or so, which happens, especially due to breast feeding. But the rest ain’t comin off easily, for sure.
My baby is almost 6 weeks old and I CAN’T WAIT to get the okay from Doc to get back to workin it out, because (listen closely people, this is my first piece of advice!!!) THERE AIN’T NO HEALTHY WAY to achieve or maintain your goal weight without exercise. As this blog continues, I will be keeping you all posted about my personal struggle to lose my baby weight. (#firstworldproblems #icanaffordfoodproblems #iknowishouldjustbehappyimamotherbutdammitiwannalookgoodtoo)
Trainer Jen and I on my last day at the gym. I’m the one with the huge ass belly.
Now, I don’t want to hear any of this Your-Post-Partum-Body-Is-Beautiful Shit. Sure, it was a miracle that I grew a person in there, and miracles are quite beautiful. But I don’t think that that means I need to keep all the miraculously-gained weight (I mean, it’s really freakin amazing to gain almost 50 lbs. in under a year. You almost have to TRY).
Why You Might Find My Baby Weight Struggle Interesting
1. I think that in a country in which the population of obese people is unbelievably immense (no pun, I swear), we should all be paying a little extra attention to our health, with the exception of maybe Dr. Oz and Jillian Michaels. So I hope that if you follow along with me here, you will be inspired to prioritize getting healthy too!
2. In keeping with the Keepin It Real theme here, I know that most real people cannot (and don’t even want to try to) subsist on all the delicious foodstuffs that we are “supposed” to eat regularly to stay thin. Pureed quinoa sprinkled with barley (ohhhh yum!)? Or kale juice – please, no matter how many people have said “it tastes soooo good with a little apple mixed in for sweetness” including myself, I know the truth – nobody wants to drink that crap for breakfast or ever! I mean, why drink kale juice when you can have a nice fluffy scrambled egg or two? Then there’s the steamed fish bullshit. Steamed fish for dinner every night? Come on Aniston, you know that shit is a litttttle monotonous – you’ve been eating it every night since your first Friends interview and now you’re on the verge of senior citizen status. Or what about 1 itsy bitsy square of 99% cocoa dark chocolate for dessert (really, it’s just not as satisfying as a big honkin’ bowl of full-fat chocolate chocolate chip)? I plan to eat generally healthily, not to spend a few weeks on a crazy diet that I won’t stick to for the rest of my life. I also plan to eat foods that I love, like PIZZA, pasta, dessert, and disco fries. I have a feeling that the majority of people, including those that want to lose weight, prefer the latter to the former too.
3. I am Italian. Making and eating food is ingrained in my soul. My blood is 30% olive oil. I cook mad good shit. I’m going to post recipes for my favorite dishes, most of which are fairly easy to make and quite satisfying. If you read this, you can make them too. Or you can just eat vicariously through the internet.
My kid’s first Friday Home From the Hospital
4. I hate working out. I mean, I love the feeling that working out gives me, but I hate having to do it. I am pretty sure I’m not alone on this. Who the frig wants to go to the gym 5 days a week and get sweaty and look at old dudes on the elliptical and smell their cologne (who the F wears cologne to the gym? STOP IT!)???? NOBODY WANTS TO GO TO THE GYM WHEN THEY COULD SIT ON THE COUCH. Or better yet, NOBODY WANTS TO GO TO THE GYM WHEN THEY COULD BE EATING! Yikes, I’m going off on a tangent. What reason am I on here? I think reason #4 is: you will get to read my crazy ass rants about annoying gym people from time to time. Also, there will be more rants about annoying food/health trends.
5. PIZZA. LOTS OF PIZZA WILL BE MADE. It won’t always be incredibly healthy, but sometimes it will be, I swear.
I hope everyone enjoys their dinner tonight! And I hope it’s not kale juice!